What am I doing here?
It's 1.12am.
Oh, I was watching this from an email quite some time back.
But that's not the point.

I feel spiritually weak.
Especially after my O's.
How can I break a promise with God?
How can I let temptation conquer my actions?
Just this morning, just as I'm going to service,
I feel very disappointed with myself.
Lord I said sorry a lot of times, but I think my words are worth nothing
I've not told anyone yet, not even Mel
I think I will just let her down even more
Today a brother,perhaps noticed my low spirited-ness and asked me,but I just passed them off with an excuse.
Today, being late to service, i feel like a burden to Marvin and Issac who both had to call me to inform me of the sitting arrangement despite the service which was about to start.
Sorry brothers.
I don't want cheap grace.
I feel useless, caged by PO.
Going out in secrecy in the weekends.
I think I had enough.

Of course, who would understand my plight.
I have PO. Do you?
Never mind, let me walk my own path which I hope against hope that there'll be one more set of footprints

This post gives me the impression that I'm a 10 year old.